


Could I Ever Be Enough?

by ring_my_bell



Series: Bing Bing [3]
Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But i really don't know what else to tag!, Fluff, M/M, not really fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:41:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22248799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ring_my_bell/pseuds/ring_my_bell
Summary: Sam visits Higgs' beach after finding his private quarters.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Series: Bing Bing [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1591555
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	Could I Ever Be Enough?

**Author's Note:**

> Man... I'm really writing these two so much... Anyways! Not much to say but to enjoy the read! I love my babies and i love this game

Higgs opened his eyes, he tried to lift himself up, every part of his body hurting tremendously. He doesn’t know how long he has been knocked out, he was still dizzy not recognizing where he was yet, standing wasn’t gonna happen but he was able to sit up. His face was sore, maybe he had broken ribs, there was so much pain everywhere he didn’t know where to start.

He heard the sound of waves, he looked around and saw grey sand everywhere. This was a beach, but not Amelie’s. It was his beach. Figures she’d send him here.

Fragile didn’t want to shoot him, so she gave him a choice. Die or live alone, forever stranded on the beach. Well, dying sounded tempting… but he chose not to. Maybe being alone forever would bring him some peace of mind.

Well, he wasn’t dead but his powers were. He couldn’t do beach jumps, summon BTs, anything. He was just a normal human now. Yay for that right? The only special things he had got taken away. He looked at his wrist, his comms were still working. At least he could be in contact with the rest of the world.

He had an idea, a stupid one. But that was the only thing he could do stuck in this beach.

He started writing an email.

He titled it A Final Request of Pizza

_ My Dear Sam Bridges…. _

\--

Sam read the email Peter had sent him. Or better, Higgs. All this time Higgs was right under his nose ordering pizza of all things for him, maybe he was doing that to be just a nuisance, whatever. He could ignore the order as he had more important things to do but Higgs said he could use his private room if he delivered the damn pizza which he couldn’t deny, he was curious to see.

So like the idiot he is, he took the order and escalated the snowy peaks to get the package at the first prepper, descended from the cold peaks, avoided mules and BTs and endured timefall just to deliver the pizza. That would earn 5-stars from a dead man, he was sure of it.

Once he delivered, as usual, nobody to receive him but now for reasons other than Higgs lies. The door behind him was open and he slowly descended into the quarters. Not knowing what to expect.

The place was rather small, but what struck Sam was the countless photos of him pinned to the walls, photos that he only could have gotten if he followed Sam around, which he suspected he was. He also found countless empty pizza boxes around, pizzas he delivered, a sphinx head and tons of writings on the wall.

By the sphynx there was a memory chip, he took it to be analyzed. 

He looked around once more before leaving, feeling a little uneasy by the place. But a little flattered deep down, he was used with everyone adoring him, but Higgs was clearly obsessed with Sam beyond healthy levels. That made his ego go up a bit, he couldn’t lie.

He left, this time no email thanking him for the pizza with a made up excuse. He kinda missed it, as annoying it was to deliver the pizzas, he wondered in the back of his head if Higgs was being sincere with his admiration and compliments or he was just being a sarcastic prick like he enjoyed being.  _ Why do I care anyways… jesus, get a grip Sam. _ He thought.

Thinking about his undeniably attractive arch nemesis in that light wasn’t good. There goes his thoughts betraying him again. He started sprinting, physical activity would take his mind off these things.

\--

Sam woke up the next morning still with his mind perturbed by Higgs’ quarters. If he really was dead then how did he send him that email? He… needed closure, he needed to talk to him again.

He had scanned the memory chips he found, three of them were journals from said man that didn’t leave his mind. Sam read the journals, a little mortified by Higgs past, no wonder he ended up so mentally unstable. He sympathized with him, he was just a curious boy. His bit the inside of his cheek. Maybe if he had anyone to actually trust, a friend, a real family, a lover, someone to confide in… anything.

Whatever, he couldn’t change the past and even if he had been there for Higgs, well not him but… someone, that didn’t mean things would go differently. Maybe if he hadn’t met Amelie, maybe if he had run into Sam. Too many maybes, too many possibilities that didn’t happen.

But that email, that was a maybe that he could work on… maybe he was alive, stuck in the beach, maybe he could get some closure.

He got up and touched Fragile’s umbrella. He hoped she would understand.

In a second she appeared. “Hello Sam, good to see you.” She smiled. Sam never was one to nurture relationships, but Fragile was the closest he could call a friend. “Where do you want to go?”

“Can you send me to Amelie’s beach?” Sam said.

She tilted her head. “No, she stranded herself on her beach, not even you can go there. Why?”

He looked down, she would hate this idea. He wouldn’t tell her about the email, it was best. “I think Higgs is alive.”

Her eyes widened. She knows he is, she didn’t kill him at the beach and gave him a choice. He chose to stay alone, forever. “If he was able to contact you, he is not in her beach anymore.”

“You mean he is… on his beach?” Sam asked, confused. Higgs had DOOMS, he could beach jump like Fragile. “Can you send me there?”

“If you had something to connect him and you. Yes.” She said.

Sam had an idea. “Do you still… have his mask?”

She raised a brow. “Yes, you think that will help? Why?”

Higgs had forced Sam to wear it, as grotesque as it sounded… it had connected them. It was his only hope. “I just think it will help.”

“I don’t like this Sam. But if you need any help, I’ll be there in a flash.” Fragile said, worried for her friend.

“I’m not going there to hurt him.”

She looked at him in disbelief. “What?”

“I… read his journals, been to his quarters. I don’t know. Just wanna talk. If he’s there and can’t leave, he is already being punished enough.” He sat down on the bed.

She sighed. “If you insist.” 

He had an idea. “If I hold something you can’t teleport me with it right?”

She nodded. “What are you taking?”

“Pizza of course.”

\--

And in the blink of an eye he was at the beach. With the pizza. To be honest this was a shot in the dark, he didn’t know if Higgs was here. So he looked around, he didn’t expect it to be very different from his beach or Amelie’s.

He spotted a figure, exactly who he wanted to see. He wasn’t wearing his cloak or a lot of his gear, he was cross legged watching the ocean drag dead crabs and fish.

Sam slowly walked in his direction, he was nervous. What would he say? 

Higgs kept watching the waves, pretending he didn’t notice Sam. 

Sam not knowing how to start conversations at all sat down by him. Placing the pizza a top his crossed legs. It would get cold if they took too long to talk. 

“Am I hallucinating or you’re really here?” Higgs asked, not looking at Sam.

“I’m here. Actually here.” Sam didn’t look at him either. He got up and sat in front of Higgs now. “I brought pizza.”

Higgs chuckled. “How nice, Sammy.” 

He opened the box and offered a slice to his nemesis. He took it as prompted. “What do you want? Missed me,  _ my dear Sam Bridges _ .” He grinned.

“I entered your room. Saw all the pictures.”

“I took them all myself, did you like it? Following you around the whole country was a fun little game.” Higgs said eating another slice.

So he was stalking Sam. 

Sam ate one slice himself. “I also read your journals.”

Higgs smiled. “Came to pity me, post boy?”

“No. I just…” Sam sighed. He thought about how many people were out there that cared about him, as much as he didn’t want that. Higgs didn’t have that. He never had that. “I just think that in your place… I don’t think I’d do anything differently.”

“Sympathizing with the devil, Sammy boy? Not the most sensible thing you did.” He grinned. That stupid grin. The same stupid grin Sam dreamt about more often than he’d ever admit.

Sam didn’t know where he wants to get with this, maybe peace of mind of not leaving this lunatic alone here. He was supposed to connect everyone, as much as he hated that mission, Higgs was still someone, someone who endured harsh things. He did terrible things as well, but everyone deserves a bit of sympathy.

Besides, if he could leave the beach and go back to causing havoc, he’d already have. He knew he would. 

Higgs stretched and laid down on the sand. Looking to the gray sky. Sam did the same. They were side by side, not speaking. Just hearing the waves crash and the wind blowing slowly. It was relaxing, he could sleep here.

“Just like that time we fought.” Higgs said. “Laying together, but not exhausted this time.” He smiled. “It was the only time I saw you smile. Never thought I, out of all people, would make you smile.” He looked at Sam. “Guess not everything was a failure.”

Sam wondered what he wanted to mean with that. He was inclined to assume that whatever Higgs felt for Sam wasn’t all negative. He had said he was just as fragile as him and licked him, he touched him whenever he could to mess with Sam.

He didn’t like it… obviously. But he was really sending mixed signals here.

_ Sam Bridges… Careful, contents are fragile. Like the world and everything in it. Me… I’m… I’m no exception. _

That moment was etched in his mind, he would never forget. Ever. 

Sam seeing Higgs like that, so vulnerable. It made weird things to his heart, maybe if they met before they’d been friends, maybe… there he goes with the maybes again. Act now, Sam! 

Despite his fears, he linked their pinkies. Higgs looked at him immediately, shocked. 

“Getting a little touchy feely there, Mr. Aphenphosmphobia.” He said.

Sam chuckled. Higgs had already touched him so many times, wanting it or not he lost his fear of touch around him, only him though. It was like he got used to it.

“I still don’t understand what you’re gaining from this.” the lunatic said. “What do you want with a pathetic idiot like me?” He lifted himself up to look better at Sam. “You wanna fuck me? I’m down for it. Is that it?”

Sam’s cheeks burned rapidly as he looked away “Jesus, Higgs…”

“So? You do want to fuck me. Well, thanks, I have wanted since day one. Glad to know it’s reciprocated.” He grinned, getting closer to Sam, but not touching him. He faced Sam, inches away from him. “I mean, I didn’t really do a good job of hiding it, hmm?” Which was true, Sam thought.

Sam got up. “It’s… not that.” He ran his hands through his face, he wasn’t gonna deny physical attraction to Higgs. But he wasn’t going to say it either. “Everyone… needs at least one connection. I’m here to try and give you that.” He hugged his knees. Looking at Higgs was so hard. Visual contact in general wasn’t something he enjoyed.

He took his strand. He handed it to Higgs, he had plenty of these. “Here. Take it. You don’t need to use it, but if you have it at least it will be easier to see you.” Higgs took it.

A symbol of their undeniable connection.

Higgs chuckled. “How did you get here even?” He looked at Sam.

Sam took the mask out of his utilitary bag. “Your mask. It led the way.” 

“How ironic.” 

Sam handed it back to Higgs. “Keep it. Don’t need it anymore.”

He smiled wryly. “Can you show me the way out? It’s your beach after all.”

He got up. “Sure.” He offered a hand for Sam to lift him up. He took it. Sam didn’t release it the whole way back.

“Well, from here you’ll return to where you were.” Higgs said as waves crashed around their feet.

“Just… ask and I’ll be back.” Sam said. He mustered all of his strength and planted a kiss in Higgs lips. It was quick, effortless. 

Higgs was struck by it. Maybe this was Sam’s way of repaying all the unsolicited touches. 

Sam scratched his neck. Heat in his cheeks rising. “See ya.” 

And with that Sam disappeared in the water, repatriating wherever he was before being sent here. Higgs didn’t expect that at all, for the first time ever in their relationship, Sam got the jump on him.

He touched his lips and he started crying. He wiped the tears off, he didn’t deserve this, none of this. Didn’t deserve Sam’s sympathy or his attempt to ‘fix’ him. Always wanted to fix everything, to unite everything. Nobody deserved Sam.

But maybe he would be ok. If Sam visited enough, maybe he would find a reason to leave this place someday.

**Author's Note:**

> Waa I'm sorry if i get them a little OOC, i prefer to do one shots and sometimes i need to sacrifice characterization to get straight to the point...  
> anyways, Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
